29th of November
Yeen came back from Seremban but she reached at about 8 something or so... so i came back at about 7 for some of my account notes because i think my account's sucker...
my sister called me over because my cousin sis "Gabby" wanna go out for a ride... so i went along to TC...
after a ride after TC, we drove around the housing area in Kubang Buaya... she stopped in front of someone's house and said 'just pretend you guys didnt see anything okay?' so i thought she was out there meeting some boys... but a Myvi was stalking us just now... i tot she went down to ask the guys at the back what's going on... then she came to the front of the car seeing the Myvi leaving and asked my sister whether she knows those punks or not... when she said no, i looked at Gabby, she was holding on short white pen.. god knows what she was doing... and i took a glimpse at her face, SHE WAS SMOKING!! oh my god... i mean i thought the only one smoking in my family is my cousin brother...
by then, she slide into the car, wind down the window and told us not to tell her family...
guess that's showbiz
born to be___
3 things
my beloved god sister forgotten my b'day... it's not a big deal, or it should be?
i miss him...
i feel GUILTY i made viv unhappy
born to be___
28th of November
a few days back i was wondering what will happen in this faithful day.. hah, i was right then... Misses Tan Hui Ling wanted us to join our very last account lesson.. without second thoughts, i quickly signed up and they did too... because i was the one who signed up for them...
on this faithful day, which i am stepping on... you know, before starting a class like this, i'd like to have some imaginations, what the class will be like, who am i sitting with and so on... and this class turned out to be like a clown class or so... i didn't know that we were in a busy night market or something when children start to run around with lollipops in their hands and mums holding a bag of vege... oh that was a mess... tables and everything... so i chose to sat some seat at the back of the class... so in my imagination, goh and i and pong hui min will sit together, vivianne and that chm will sit together since vivianne said 1st of Dec will be OUT of her world... well, it turned out badly... when i sat down, pong huimin was like 'What?' because usually goh and i sit together so she stood there, doesn't know where to sit.. i just sat down and pong huimin asked wasn't i supposed to sit with goh and i saw goh was happily seated with vivianne so i said 'i don't know' so she sat down and chm pulled a table and a chair towards us... poor her...
oh how i hate this class... so damn noisy that i couldn't concentrate... so i whammed my ears with my mp3... so no one can disturb me... i wasn't in a mood... it's a Secret... mum called me so i could go home... and to my instincts, pei yee was happy to see me left... when i left, the other second she immediately sat my place... to be honest, it hurts me you know...
then when i reached home... i am happy to see that ayu's Days' PV preview was out... the other minute goh called me for a tea...So i immediately promised her.. then still with the moody face on me... and then... i saw my little cousin brother Thien in TC... his friends laughed at me calling him cute... it was funny...
Then, after our 'Tea Time' is over... i tried to get along with them... so i sat in the middle of the back, stuck my head out so it seemed like i sat in the middle of them... but what made me went behind again... topics... i hate topics although human beings rub shoulders with them all day... they were talking about Kelly, National Service, Something Something and Something that has nothing to do with me... So i went back, sit tight and do my thing... thinking...
the Cd turned to ' I Hate This Part' and it kills my happiness.. they were talking THEIR thing and i am listening to mine... i wasnt in their world in that moment and it freaks me out... talk about being left out huh? oh yeah, i told loads of lies today... 'tired' is the word to avoid from something... what if i said the truth?
then on the way home, vivianne suddenly talk about how yijing treated me... i can't hold my tears back... i really couldn't accept the truth that yijing's acting that way and vivanne and goh alienated me... well, i guess that's showbiz...
back home, another back news again... daddy had difficulties in walking because he sat the wrong positioned chair... poor him... hope he gets better... i want you to walk like a normal person, even laughing and chasing me around the house when i talk jokes on you... i love you pap
born to be___
25th of november
it started with the song of Mirrorcle World which i set it for my alarm... then i grabbed my mp3 to start my day...
1love, 7 things... browsing browsing... CRUSH by David Archuleta... it says it all towards my crush then Ayumi Hamasaki's Daybreak... oh i tell you... this song rocks .. it brings back those lonely-feel-like-going-home-but-i-cant-and-the-Daybreak-on-the-way-to-penang-and-on-the-way-to-the-trip-which-i-spent-with-school-friends... so nice and if you want to get the feeling out of it, try to wham your ears by watching Coldplay's Yellow and Jam Hsiao Jing Teng's Shou Cang...
Then, i brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on my black pants and school shirt and ready to go...
i started my day with a smile thinking great things will happen to me... not to mention receiving messages in a row... then started my first class... seni... wasnt smooth in the first place because my idea was 'phew' out of the window.. then chong huimin started to ask tze yoong to colour her drawing for her... pong huimin was like 'weishan, you see, she's done it again!'... then i was like snapping to her 'batik was once, this is another..' so she snapped her drawing, went washing her brush and said 'i'm going home now'... even a blind man knows that she was angry...
thinking i will be bored if i stay at home, so i followed goh to TC... the BEST thing? get to enjoy with my friends and ICE-CREAM!!! but, ice-cream melts and all that came into my brain was 'current, gas law, pressure and syringes'... guess that's showbiz...
went back... when i see there's no one here to celebrate with me (as my sister was busying watching America's Next Top Model and my mum was sleeping)... crushed again... so i switched on my pc whack some ass on Diablo and CounterStrike...
at 7pm, i messaged a confirmation to yijing asking her whether that she's joining us tomorrow... she said no... i was crushed because i thought that she would ask her dad or what... then vivianne told me that she has completely forgotten everything... i was so so crushed... i even had this wanna cry mood but i can't hold back my tears... I Hate This Part made me even worst...
yijing, who are you anyway?
born to be___
25th of november , it is just an ordinary day, dont have to make a big fuss out of it
guess i was right
not a happy birthday after all
i have got no kisses, no hugs, no anything and it was kinda hollow...
12 wishes... 12 messages... 1 card, 1 cake...
omedetto chloe san...
it was empty... it'll be the ENDING in 5 hours... 5 solid hours... lonely birthday...
born to be___
if you love him, he desrves to know the truth... it's not wrong to have a little crush.
born to be___
David Archuleta - Crush
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Has it ever cross your mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
this is one nice song... it really brings out the feeling inside of me... i love it
because this guy loves this girl and while looking at her, he'll go crazy and wondering if she feels the same way too... and then it was a crush...
born to be___
i had this weird dream..
erm, i was at my front door... sitting by the grill door waiting for goh to come and fetch me out to school... because goh said got one important function going on ... so i have to go... i saw someone tapped on my shoulders and he looked at me smiling... that was so sweet!
then we went to school and we were watching this performance... i saw ayumi... with the poll dancing 1love... i love it!...
BEST dream ever...
born to be___
if i am his girl...
i'll wake up early in the morning, give him a morning message or a call...
saying 'honey, wake up... it's a beautiful morning, wake up with a smile, for me okay? remember to wash up and eat healthy breakfast'
then i'll do my first job of the day, to miss him...
then i'll go on with my work but i'll spear every second in every minute to miss him ...
then i'll cook something for him once in a while just to stop him from eating catering food... i'll NEVER let him eat unhealthy food... i'll cook...
i'll learn driving to fetch him in and out because he hasn't got the learner's permit yet... then i'll give what he wanted... and i want him to love me too... that's all that i wanted...
all i got to do now, is to stop singing 'Crush' by David Archuleta and do what should i do... Au Revoir
born to be___
dunno what's my feeling today... sometimes i feel sad and boring and happy and pain and confused?
i had a long conversation with vivianne today.. wont say anything detail to you because it was kinda confidential... this conversation made me so kinda a advice giver... i gave loads of sense facts to vivianne and i thought loads of times we had together (me and him)
first when i first got close to him was when my brother called him over for a "study group"... i ended up accompanying him, well, not exactly accompanying him, i sat opposite of him and my brother endedup playing computer games... and NOW i like that way that my sister's boyfriend said we looked perfect for each other... well, both of us looked so serious while doing our homework...
Next, when we were having the High School Musical fever when the High School Musical 2 went on air... he came to my house for research... well, two of us were alone then i was doing my homework... he knew i love high school musical because i used to sing high school musical... he turned to me and said about zac efron's first kiss... but then i wasnt paying attention but i knew his smile attracted my attention... then, i immediately finish my day by penning my diary... i wrote how i like him when e talked to me...
i am not that happy as i used to... right after i told my brother how is my feeling towards him... he kinda avoid talking about him in front of me, and loads of things.. when i thought of my brother, i thought of obstacles between me and him... it was hard! as Daniel Meade said in Ugly Betty to Betty, he said it is okay to have a little crush... i do have that towards him... but my crush crushed by my brother... thanks to him, my rival for life... he doesnt even know how his little sister's feeling, i think ah siak is better than him...
i hate him but i love him
born to be___
NEVER been this hurt before... i was afraid then...
16th of November, which is the day i promised my BEST friends to see Rynn Lin Yu Zhong, so far the BEST Malaysian Chinese Singer in Kuantan Parade... I've asked my father a week and 3 days before the Press Conference he said i can go if my father is there for me... So i say okay since i can see him...
Then, on that faithful day... 16th of November.. Woke up very very early so i can start my science revision a little bit more details... but i didn't do it because we went out early... first, we went to east coast mall... well, what can you get from a lame mall like it... pueh.... then then, what did we eat for lunch? yeah, we went to this corner lot kinda like house for mee hoon... still didn't like it because i wasnt in a mood for eating... i was text messaging with goh so we both can confirm whether if we are going or not... sure, she's always confirm for a Press Conference like this... Vivianne and Yijing were going too... goh was too excited because it has been a long time since we, four of us hang out together, i mean TOGETHER!... well, something came up seemed to break goh's heart... right after east coast mall, my father said he will fetch me to Kuantan Parade and he shop his and i scream mine... on the way back home, which i didn't know it was happening, he said those kind of crowd will push me from the 3rd floor to the ground floor and i will fall down if someone pushes me... what lame excuses... he is like that... if he doesnt like something, he'll come out with loads of excuses and convert them into a code... 'NO'... when he fetch me back, he immediately went out for jogging... so i immediately message goh that i'm not going because i was busy rescuing myself from the flood of excuses... so lame so i locked myself in my room and do my part... it hurts you know, when you see others get to wave at Rynn and follow his car... i was crushed... broken heart which i can cry my lungs out...
today when i logged on my computer, i went to read vivianne's blog, it's part of the job when i online... it sucks to see how they enjoy themselves and i was at home showing black faces to them... it's so stupid to miss an opportunity like this, Rynn... HELLO? RYNN... he is the 'tu di' to JJ and i once loved his song... now i dare not face my friends because i've promised them i'd be there. but i'm not... if they are so so mad, i totally understand... so hurt and so hard... i don't even care, if next time i wanna hang out with my friends after my SPM, i will go out even if you say no.. because they are going for National Service... i don't even give a damn
born to be___
live life to the fullest...
yeah, it's friday again and our tradition is to fill our stomach with ABCs!!...
sure we can't get out of there yeah...
as we sat down (there was only the three of us, goh, yijing and me, vivianne was on her way), the waiter didn't serve us first, so i looked around as i used to... i saw Ho Wyn Gy, hao's another HIS friend... so i saw that very very familiar HOT backside of his... as you know, i started to stutter and shiver and sweat on my palms and out of myself... i immediately asked yijing to change place with me because it will stop me from looking at him, because Ho Wyn Gy had a good sight of me... i didn't plan to say hi and he didnt see me i think... but Ho Wyn Gy knew i was Teen Hao's sister, more or less will be like us, lke saying 'EH! that's his sister'... but never mind...
i ordered, as usual, a bowl of ABC then i ate for half a bowl, i couldn't continue anymore because i was nervous... um, goh ate mine as i offered her and he left... yijing said why didnt he say hi? i said it's okay... Vivianne's reaction made me laugh, she asked, shan, that guy looks like your crush' three of us looked at her and say IT'S HIM LA!!! haha
then this morning, i woke up very early because my sister woke me up for breakfast... i didn't know why, i started to wham my ears with my MP3... so oh, when it switched on, it played Together When..., this is the song that i thought of him when i knew he had a girlfriend... i feel PAIN and sorrow... i didn't know what to do to have a guy between me and him... thoughts made me hate my brother more...
it's hard
born to be___
goodbye high school
today is the last day to say goodbye and will NEVER EVER bring heavy bags to this school anymore, no teacher teaching, no being called into the office(NEVER done this before), getting caught by the teacher who likes to catch me red handed while i was having my long long nice nice fingernails, no more talking craps with teachers, no more... nothing... i'm gonna miss this
Form 1
I remembered i first stepped into this school, feeling worse than ever and nervous and sad at the same time.. i didnt like this school at all and this is one non famous school, never heard of this before i knew it existed... i first knew... Vivianne Tay Hui Yen apart from my Semambu friends like Thong Yoke Yee, Low Pei Yee and Lee Hui Yen... I cried for the first 4 days because i wanted to go to Alor Akar but not here... luckily i've found someone to talk to... Hang Chong Wei's ex-girlfriend of course... She talked to me for the whole day about him and Mr.Tan, my ex tuition teacher... what i like about Form 1 is when we the Fantastic 4... Me, Goh Pui Yee, Vivianne Tay Hui Yen and Pang Yijing were together... not seperated... and yeah, we used to make teachers angry and loads of stuff... one memorable thing was, Goh fell into a plant full with thorns... it was LOL... haha...i was the nanny, to prick all those thorns out of the baby flesh... such memories...
Form 2
Oh how i hate this year, the unlucky year... my friends boycotted me this year... it was this GAME that Yijing started to plan with... 'let's not talk to Vivianne GAME'... it was immature i know and i'm sorry vivianne... i was so in it and it causes my friendship... and this year i was kinda one of chong huimin's group while vivianne and i had a cold war... she started to wash my brain by talking bible... eww... and then, when i say sorry to vivianne... things started to get overturned... i think the whole thing started from me.... well, vivianne sorta kissed Chong Huimin and Chong Huimin started to get attracted to Vivianne... so retarded everything about this... haha... then, it gets funny, I started to fall in LOVE with Chong Huimin too.... and Pong Huimin too.... oh, where did we go wrong with her? i sorta kissed Chong Huimin in the face in front of Vivianne... and i was so embarrassed..so retarded... so when i sense things wrong , i quickly pulled myself out... oh yeah, Pong Huimin was one of us too but Goh Goh was kinda left out because she went into another class due to her good results...
Form 3
this year which i grew up into a understandable girl and i started to realise stuffs... sister left me to UCSI and i was miserable so i got friends to accompany me... so it's no biggie... erm... i confessed everything to Huimin as i have no feelings for her... and yeah, Huimin and Vivianne started to date each other... well, closer than we thought... i felt left out this year because they went to the school trip that i didnt go ... Tan Yeekee was very nice to hang out with... as we started to sing when the song started to air in billboard charts...
Form 4
The form that i kinda like... i started out hard but i get along well... History and moral... those are killing me....070707 is the official date that vivianne and huimin started to be a couple and it was so wrong ... shouldnt have let them happened but they were so crazy in LOVE... i was closer with Goh but not that close this year, i ended this year with piss because vivianne and huimin went to the school trip which i went too but they went with the couple mood as i said i wanted to play all along because this is my very very first time, night snacks and talking every night but they just bumped me off by saying 'awhhhhhhhh, i'm tired'... luckily my goh goh accompany me to piss and sleep.... love ya
Form 5
oh , the battle year... Vivianne started her year with moody faces because hr last chance with huimin was over because there was the LC crisis thing... haha.... then Goh me and Vivianne started to get closer this year... but the one who's going further is yijing because she started dating another guy... this year is by far the most fun year i have ever experienced... very good indeed... confessions everywhere and we started to talk craps that we did in the past few years, it was so retarded...
what's done is done, there's no need to say about what is passed
- Aslan from Narnia
yeah, the book of this high school is over, they are filled with words... which we have to paint another book, and pen new stories about other Life... i'll NEVER forget what happened.... and i'll never forget those friends who treated me right... Lim Yee Wen, i salute you, because you brought laughter... haha... gonna miss your jokes...
born to be___
High School Musical freak
yes, i WAS a high school fan since they had first released the High School Musical The FIRST from the Trilogy...Kenny Ortega must be exhausted...
I wont say the movie's story line improve or so, but their choreography was awesome compared to the last 2 movies... Yes, Goh Goh beside me was like 'AH, my liang zai'... she was talking about the choreographer of the basketball dancing thing with the 00 Wildcat Jersey in Wildcat basketball team... *there were 3 annoying like brats buzzing all through the movie*
So go check it out, need i say more? *i was hoping to bump into him there in the first place since i've heard No Air and thought about him, maybe i have hope to meet him since i've heard it twice* NO LUCK....
then, goh said wanna go to see Golf and Mike *who the hell are they actually* then only i know they are 2 guys from Thailand... 
there... these are Golf and Mike... *why not Golf and Holes?*
erM, certainly is, none of us are into them so we went away, but instead, goh said wanted to spot where are they heading... so goh and i went to the smallest exit... and we saw an Alpherd there... So she was right, we waited by the back door stairs instead... then we started to talk while waiting... indeed, we saw them came out WITHOUT one single bodyguard... only camera man and screaming fans...so both of us waved Hi at them, and they hi-ed back at us... we are 2 brilliant non fans stalker... then we went chasing their car... so sweet...
this is the first time i've waved at them and i got the feedback... Thanks
born to be___
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