Time : 20.36
Weather : Heavy Clouds
Mood : Confused
Ah, i flashed back too many times... Sometimes when you think of something unbelievable that happened to you, you'll feel like 'was i there? couldn't remember.' There was once i thought that was a dream.... But it was not...
There was this unlucky date, 16th of September 2007, Sunday it was and i was preparing for my monthly test in my room... I was kinda into Groove Adventure RaVe that time so, well, my connection sucks that time that i have to on the YouTube and let it run for the whole afternoon... I didn't really know what kind of issues we were having that time between my elder brother and i, but then we were having cold war... So, he closed my YouTube so i was like so furious and i immediately off the whole computer and shut myself up to memorize my history notes... my brother came in banging my door and i was shouting furiously at him, I didn't want to be interrupted when i was memorizing my notes... Daddy was the one who was REALLY REALLY angry and he overturned my study desk and i was crying my lungs out... I was ego that time and i have got no expectations that this would've happened... So i was in my lonely room again and i (influenced by my friend Vivianne, don't try this at home) took my pen knife out and started to cut my wrist... I wrote 'Edward' instead around my wrist (Edward was a guy that i was crazy about in Eragon)... Then, for the first time in my Life, i heard my brother cried like he had experienced death of a beloved or something, choking and sobbing... I didn't really want to identify who's the one who is GUILTY but i felt GUILTY that time... I was strong enough compared to my brother and i dared to collect myself up... For 3 months we were in a fight and I really couldn't find a way to say sorry or to make things up...
Then, the other dilemma... I was watching Restaurant Makeover... My sister and my elder brother had a fight but i don't know what was that about... A fight, one major fight... Then, my brother locked my sister in the kitchen and my sister was banging like hell and i immediately went to open the door... Before i could, my brother came to me and man handled me by the neck and i shouted at him 'what is wrong if i open the door?!' so i went open and my sis helped me to scold my brother... That time, i was sure that it was his fault... Aicks, sorry to say that... My bro came to me and said sorry and i decided to not to tell my father about what had happened... So i chicken out...
I hope he reads this to tell him that i was sorry... It's the day before he went to National Service and he was like 'study hard, don't make parents down' and i started to love my family... I can't live without them...
So here's my apologies... I got to say this even it's too late
To my Dearest Bro Chiang Teen Hao,
No matter how you hate me or how i hate you, i will still love you as my brother... We have no age gap and we still can find a solution to make things right, right? i can't see the child in me anymore because i had forgotten the way to argue... I have forgotten the formula to argue... I just wanted to make things right and i don't want people to feel that I'm someone extra in this world...
To my Dearest God Brother Chong Hui Min,
Hey you best mate... I know that i was like shouting at you when you didn't get the maths right and i was wrong to have stop you from doing things right... And i didn't really change right after you told me about the whole 'sin' thing, I'm so sorry and i hope you will feel the same way about me... I love you so so very much...
To my Dearest Nee-san,
For so many years you've been bugging me what's right what's wrong, and i totally understand about it... And i'm sorry that i took a long time to realize these and i know i made you cry and i made you angry and it all happened because you loved me and i love you...
To my Dearest Aniki Kevin.
Sorry for blaming you for not telling me about you and Suyin because it was your personal Life between you and her but then i was jealous of Nee-san because you tell her everything but not me... I was angry and jealous then... Hehe... I love you
To my Dearest Sister, Vivianne,
Oh how much i love you... Sorry for everything that i did for the last 4 years and i have been working hard to make myself better and i want some achievements... Sorry that i humiliated Celine Yap in front of our friends and sorry that i didn't really talk to you in the last year trip... Let's make it happen this YEAR!
To my Dearest Dear, Goh Pui Yee,
Sorry that i was naive and made you angry all the time... Sorry for what i did to make you (miss) understood and sorry that we quarreled when we were in Form 1 and sorry to leave you alone when you were alone and sorry to you... Sorry for everthing and i Love you...
To Pong Hui Min
Sorry that i left you alone when you need help... You have to stand up and be strong okay?
Man, this is harder than i thought... Well, I'm ready for anything and last but not least
Sorry to Foong Tet Loon that i have got no courage to tell you that i Love you and i hope you will be happy always and i rather that you don't know about my existence than you and my brother's relationship got worsen... i Love you
born to be___
Um... don't think too much first, it was my dearest brother hao hao...
But i don't want this...
born to be___
born to be___
Date : 15th of June 2008
Time : 21.24
Weather : Blackout
Mood : Over the Top
I ordered a dish called Cawan Mushi... a steamed egg with bits inside...
If you order this, add it with the Japanese Spices... It turned out to be PERFECTO!!!!
Then, i ordered loads of sushi... It was a pity that i was full... So, just fulfill the space of my stomach that's all...
Green Tea Ice-Cream!!!! It was delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
born to be___
Date : 15th of June 2008
Time : 21.33
Weather : Blackout
Mood : Over the Top
Everybody knew that i was furious towards Chong Hui Min yesterday and Vivianne and Goh knew very well about my feelings (Vivianne and Goh were her victims)... I was doing my research for Hotels in KL and Malacca for the end-of-the-year trip... Suddenly someone rang my bell... I was shocked when i saw the both of my Dearest Dear came to see me... I saw Goh was holding a plastic bag... I thought that they are going to over turn my kitchen again... But Goh said it was for me... I felt weird and i opened the bag... I SAW BOSS!!!!!!!!!! i was thrilled!!! i felt relieved!!!!!!!!!!! oh god!
born to be___
Date : 14th of June 2008
Time : 18.22
Weather : Cloudless but kind of Bright
Mood : Angry + PAIN
So we reached Ten Ten, 4 of them in Tze Yoong's Car (Pong Hui Min, Neng Tze Yoong, Chong Hui Min and Lok Ley Cher [stranger]) got down and stand there... I mean come on, I was there and i wanted you to get your ass up to my car without a word and you were like standing there like idiots! So i quickly winded down my window and shouted loudly '上车了先!!!!!!' Then they quickly went up to my car... Minute later, Kor Shin got up too... So we were heading to Natural Batik Village... I was there, all silence in my car... Hate to say a thing... Well, i was thinking that Chong Hui Min told me how pretty Ley Cher was, but not-to-mention, Ley Cher was a disappointment... I bet a 100% that Vivianne is much prettier than Ley Cher... After all, we got a name for her, LC... Lets make it short, shall we?
Oh yeah, i got a picture of her...
Yeah Yeah i know... no more questions and shall we proceed?
So, we were debating with the Manager there and she recommended us to go there the next day due to space problem... She asked the workers inside whether they can stop a few pieces to let us colour and she did that... We stayed back for the colouring thing...
I started to wax the outline first and we started to colour... Mine was Sakura (my favourite flower as they only grow in Japan), Pong Hui Min was Water Lily, Chong Hui Min was Hibiscus, Neng Tze Yoong was Rose and I don't really know about Kor Shin's flower...
Mine turned out to be like this...Kinda disappointed... Because i didn't have any helper to help me to make in different but then, something pissed me off with a *snap*... I made a deal with Chong Hui Min... I told her, if LC goes there, no helping... I mean, that was not helping, that was cheating!!!!! THAT MEAN LITTLE CHEATER!!!! SAYING THAT CHEATING IS BAD AND IT IS A SIN BUT YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CHEATS IN FRONT OF US BY HIRING SOMEONE TO HELP YOU!!!! I HATE YOU CHONG HUI MIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pong Hui Min was angry and jealous... I knew that she's angry that LC's there but i don't really know about jealous...
So i was worrying about transport... The Manager here can fetch me back as she stays at Alor Akar... But Vivivanne told me to sit Chong Hui Min's car back because she uses people a lot... So i did sit her car back... And i had a major stomach ache... Aching like hell... I don't know why...
As in conclusion, i didn't enjoy anything at all as i was nudging Chong Hui Min to do them ALL by herself... She didn't and i wanted to KICK HER OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
born to be___
Time : 17.34
Weather : Cloudless but kind of Bright
Mood : Confused + Dizzy
Sometimes dreams become reality when it is out of your mind. I can't give you example because i don't give a damn about it... But one i do care... 'They' gave me a sign...
born to be___
As usual my friend came along to make potato salad... Mummy insisted me to sleep in the afternoon but then my friend won't have chances to make salads in my house again as today is the last day... So i stayed up to wait for them... I was like wanted to close my eyes because i ate the flu tablet... it causes you snoozing all around... So i stayed up strong...
Then we watched the Step Up 2, it turned out to be a disappointed movie because if you watched Stomp The Yard... This is like a sequel to the movie... But replaced by a girl instead...
At dinner, Mummy said that i had fever because i had a shiver... Daddy was like blaming me for letting my friends in... Mummy said that i caught a cold last night at Teluk Chempedak... So i was like don't feel like listening to them... i got my own Life...
born to be___
born to be___
Yeah, talking about him again... I'm glad that this world made a song, meant to be with my feelings... It started out as a feeling and it grew into a hope... a hope that i can talk to him... then turned into a thought, i thought about him whole day... then turned into a quiet word 'LOVE'... but my word couldn't grew any louder... Because i'm scared... I don't have the courage to day them out loud... and i was in a battle cry... but he wouldn't call me...
I had loved 2 guys that i couldn't lay my hands on... Past and Present... the first one was the loser... I didn't know why i liked him so much... I love this one the most because i like the way he is... He is talented, intelligent and pure... He doesn't smoke... That's important because i'm allergic... and i love him, that's all
The main reason that i have got no courage to love him obviously is that he is my brother's BEST BEST BEST BEST friend... I wanted to faint that why should i love a guy who's like i can't be with him... Well, i might get a chance if i ask him out but, traditionally, i'm a girl... i'm weak, i'm not his quality and i definitely doesn't suit him... I'm scared that if we hang out, what will my brother think? Yeah, people say 'who cares? it's you the one who dates not you brother...' I think not... He barely even know me and well, yeah i know, before building a relationship we had to have those things to build it up... But it scattered and i can't find them...
LOVE this word is a powerful word and it is not selfish... I'm giving them out but no one seemed to return it to me... I feel scattered and I feel lost... I felt so down when i get to know that i couldn't see him how often...
Who on this earth can give me a sign? A hint? ANYTHING? WHATEVER?
born to be___
I went to Yijing's house at 9 and her mother was late to fetch us out... So everyone of us (me, goh and vivianne) suggested that we stay at her house, don't have to go for a night tea with them... I mean, i knew this for a while, it won't work... This whole night tea thing doesn't work... So we went out for a cone of sundae and it was delicious... Thanks to Yijing's mum for that treat...
Lim Yee Wen, Liu Hui Ling and Kong Foong Xin came here and we chatted... Not exactly chatted... Goh and i immediately stepped away from the crowd... Because we were not fabulous enough to step in there... They are not our kind... Our kind is casual... They are flashy...
In my opinion, i mean, to be exact, Foong Xin never smiled to me for her whole Life... She looked at me like i was from the outer space or something... I hate that kind of feeling and she gave me those uncomfortable feeling like ' I don't want Chloe to be here'... I wanted to peace myself out... I don't hate her... Its just, she doesn't want me to be there... Invisible...
Then Chong Wei suddenly IM-ed me and asked me which part am i in Teluk Chempedak... I was like ... 'I'm going back'... So waited outside of McDonald's beside the electric... thing... And i was like be careful of my steps... so i took a peep inside the McDonald's and he spotted me... I immediately jerked my head back and hide behind Goh's back and screamed... I didn't want him to see me because i scared about the 4 years crush thing that he still remember.... He came out without our knowing and Goh gave us a fright by shouting a 'WHOA!!!!' and i was like looked what happened and he was standing behind us... I think that he didn't see me and he asked 'Who's going back?' and i jerked my head out and said 'me'...
What an awkward day... I didn't enjoy at all... All i enjoy was talking to the 3 of my gang... I love them so much, even dad joked with me when i got home... No anger!
I'm scared of Hang Chong Wei because
I'm scared that he still
laughing that I'm the one
who's got rejected by him
and i was blindly in love with him
FOR 4 YEARS!!!
I didn't want to experience
the hand shaking thing
and the awkward thing...
But now i'm concentrating
on my LOVEY
born to be___
Shopping
Pass by his house
Cooking
Chatting
Free from education
Vacation
Climbing rocks of Teluk Chempedak
Enjoy the Beach
born to be___
Okay, my friend chose another way to go back and i silently cycled to pass by his house...I saw his Waja there but i saw no one... And i immediately smile because i get to pass by his house.... Haha
And when i saw Vivianne again, she said 'where did you go, huh?' flirtatiously and i was lie 'Huh?'
On the way back, i saw his bike... My eye sight was poor and i took a glance of the guy on the bike... Well, my glance turned into look-at-it-purposely...
Haha... it was a miracle... Thanks
born to be___
Yeah, close friends of mine knew that i love/like him, Foong Tet Loon 
He is a close friend of my brother, a sweet guy he is... He is the one with specs underneath of this picture... the middle one... i like this picture... so shuya-fantastic... I didn't realize true love since in knew that i love him...
I have been facing problems nowadays and i wanted to see him and eating chocolate out of the hell of myself but i couldn't do the both of them... He wasn't at home when i pass by his house... Yijing and Vivianne is having a major problem and i don't know whether they are ego or something... They still didn't want to solve it... One is trying to explain and the other is trying to avoid... I cried when i listen to Regina Spektor's The Call... I'll let you read the lyrics:
Regina Spektor - The Call Lyrics
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye
born to be___
Lunch was prepared by
- chloeM
- De aD v v
- mable
- Tao
- spaghetti with sausages
- pancakes
- mushroom soup
- potato + carrot salad with Heinz sauce and Mayonnaise
- Aloe Vera + Apple juice ( we didn't actually squeeze these fruits, we bought it)
These are the methods:
1. Spaghetti with Sausages
Well, we used Dolmio tomato paste with mushroom provided and i added Ayamas Sausages... Cooked it with low fire and when it boils, it is ready to be served.
(Sorry because i was busy at the moment... No pictures)
2. Pancakes
This is Vivianne's dish... She taught us how to cook this so we knew how to cook... You buy the flour and mix it with 1 egg and 150ml of water... Stir it until it gets even and heat the pan... You are ready to cook it with salted butter...
3. Mushroom Soup
This is as easy as a pie... Buy a Campell Cream of Mushroom, pour the paste inside and add a can of water and ready to cook it... Remember to stir it well...
4. Potato Salad + Carrot with Heinz sauce and Mayonnaise
Boil 3 potatoes which were cut into cubes with a pinch of salt and when it gets soft, take out and to be cooled down... Shred a stick of carrot and mix it with potatoes added with Heinz sauce and Mayonnaise...
And our lunch turned out to be like these:
And we were so full... Thanks to my brilliant ideas and my friend's cooperation... cool man...
born to be___
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